It is never easy to stop remembering things and get emotionally attached. To the memories. Not necessarily to the person(s) in it.
The next thing I’d do would be, saying, inside my head, that I’d give up anything to relive those days all over again.
It happened to me. And it is happening again now, as we are approaching the new year. When the opportunity is there, out in the brightest spot to Create new memories. To overwrite the old ones. And yet here I am, wishing to relive (some of) those days all over again.
I wanted to believe that we have fuller control of our Present. And that is exactly where I should stick my head, and drag my heart along. Not the past.
Not that bitch.
I have this sick crave to put all concerning characters (read: Not the Persons) together, (trying to) relive the same memories. But it, not surprisingly though, fails to no avail.
Maybe because they are Persons. Not just Characters in My story. My memory.
They are real persons, with their own emotions and its complexities, with their changing needs and insights.
So maybe, maybe this is the time to eventually cut off the rope. One that chokes me insanely tight to the past.
One that keeps me obsessed with the idea of the person I think I need.
Perhaps this is exactly when I should sneak out from my comfort box, and start embracing the fact that there is life too, outside that very box.
Perhaps acceptance is a sugarcoated cowardice.
Perhaps happiness are treasures, scattered all along in the journey, not in the destination.
Perhaps I am wrong. But hell yeah, I’m gonna find out about it soon rather than not ever.